Prologue is done. Chapter 1, shall we?

Posted December 28, 2010

On August 19, 2010, after 21 years of happily living my life in my hometown of Killeen, Texas, I packed up everything I had and set out to start a new chapter of my life in a not-entirely-too-distant town called College Station. Little did I know, this wasn’t the start of a new chapter. Nowhere near. This was only the beginning. It’s what you would call the warm-up, the starter kit, get-your-feet-wet stage… It was only the prologue.

A lot has happened since then. After one semester of attending Texas A&M University and shifting my college career into 2nd gear (I’m technically classified as a Sophmore, don’t judge), my lifestyle has dramatically changed in many aspects. I made decisions that have impacted myself and shaped me into who I am today. There’s been good days and bad days. I made new friends and lost others. I lived and I learned, but it’s not enough. Not at all.

It’s been a while since I’ve written here. The fact that I haven’t done so is a statement within itself and represents how busy I’ve been adjusting to my new life. I feel that it’s finally time to start again, but I can’t do so without writing down all that has happened since that last time I’ve written. So here it goes. After a few months, this is me.

A&M

Attending a new school was very tough at first. From the first day of classes, all the way to the last, it was an experience and a transformation from attending community college to say the least. The campus was rich, robust, and full of life. Students and classmates were very kind and outgoing. Everything seemed to be great on the outside, but after about a month, I began to feel very homesick. I wasn’t depressed, but the thought of being away from home and even farther from my (then) girlfriend was depressing. I began to have silly thoughts. “What if I lived in Austin instead? Why not attend University of Texas? I would be closer to home and I could visit my girlfriend more often! That would be cool, wouldn’t it?” Those thoughts led me to fill out a transfer application to UT. All I had to do was write a short essay and submit it. But I didn’t submit the application. Why? Because it was premature. I was considering looking into UT when I didn’t give A&M the fair chance that it deserved. I was judging A&M based on my current situation and I wasn’t looking at the big picture and how it will affect me in the long run. It goes without saying that I will never do that again. After taking the time learn and gain experience, I’ve come to love A&M and realize that this is where I belong. I am proud to be a fightin’ Texas Aggie and I will never look back!

My classes turned out pretty good. Instead of sitting in a room with a bunch of older, quiet, and awkward people, I’m socializing with courteous people that are my age and really outgoing. My science classes are no longer cougar towns. From my ladies in Chemistry, all the way to my buddies in Intro to Programming, they’re all great people to be around with. The course material was tough stuff. A&M is no slouch when it comes to education and I will admit that I was not prepared for it when it came charging at me with all guns blazing. I fought back though, but I feel that I didn’t fight back hard enough. I ended up dropping one class and finishing the semester with all B’s in the remainder of my classes. I’m determined to do better next semester. Obtaining a 3.5 GPA for the year isn’t entirely too difficult and is a very practical goal. I have to really work hard for it this time though, and I won’t be stopped.

I love Texas A&M, but I have to nitpick a bit about one itty-bitty thing: the outrageous hate for all things UT. The hate is so obnoxious and it’s like being that person in elementary school that liked someone but pretended that you hated them for attention because they’re too busy hating someone else. Here in Aggieland, we call the University of Texas “t.u.” which stands for “texas university”. The letters are lowercased just to show some disrespect. You might think “Oh that’s pretty smart!”, but it gets a total “womp wommmmp” in my book. Remember the shooting at UT that took place earlier this year? Want to know the reaction from some students? “Did you hear?? There was a shooting at t.uuuuuuu.” Seriously?? The campus is on lock-down and in a state of emergency, show some respect please! Anytime that anything related to UT is mentioned, Aggies hiss like little kittens at it. Yes, they hiss at it! Anytime they do that, I just laugh at it but I keep my teeth closed so that it sounds like I’m hissing with them. It’s funny to me. All around campus, as well as over College Station you will see shirts and car windshield stickers of the UT Longhorn logo with it’s horns sawed off. As long as you’re in College Station, you will more than likely never see that logo with the horns intact. Some students even go out on a limb to wear shirts that (when folded a certain way) clearly read “F*CK TEXAS”. Understand though, that none of that stuff has no affiliation with Texas A&M University. The university does not supply those shirts or that logo, it’s all supplied by a local clothing retailer. You’ll see anti-UT shirts that are supplied by the university, but they are less hateful, less degrading, and most important of all, less immature. Surely with all of this hate toward one specific university, we as Aggies must be insane, right?  No not really. It all just correlates to one little thing: rivalry. Our rivalry with UT ignites us and gets us hyped! Rivalry is the reason why school spirit at Texas A&M is such a big deal. In the state of Texas and arguably in the entire nation, you will not find another school that has much pride and school spirit as Texas A&M. It’s truly an incredible experience and you just have to be here in order to understand or even fathom how amazing it is. The love for the school is what makes me happy about A&M and is one of the reasons that I’m glad to be here! So yeah, screw UT. :)

The Breakup

Last month, after being in a relationship for about ten months, I made the decision to break up with my girlfriend. I have no reason to go into specifics, but I should at the very least express that I am thankful for the relationship and the experience that I have gained from it. Being in a relationship, there were so many ups, downs, and all-around’s. It was great to learn from it and watch it bloom. Unfortunately, as important as the relationship was, it caused me to lose focus on everything else.

Since the breakup, I have been focusing on myself. I need to be myself and I need to learn to live my life for myself before I can even think about living it for someone else. Before dating, I took the single life for granted and didn’t realize how important it really was at the time. Now I understand it’s value and that I should continue to live it to it’s fullest and enjoy it for what it is. It was around this time last year that I had deep thoughts about the perfect ideal woman for me. Those thoughts haven’t changed and those words still hold true to this day. The only difference is that I don’t have that much of a reason to think about it right now. I know that a relationship is the last thing that I need right now, especially with so many other things on my plate.

Etc. etc.

The semester has ended and I’ve been back in Killeen for a little while now. It’s great to see so many familiar faces again and it puts a smile to my own face. My family has been doing well and seems to be doing their own thing. I feel more like a guest in my own home now and it’s kind of funny. I’ve been working on some personal goals that I want to try to reach before I leave back to College Station next year which includes working out and running more often, earning as much money as I can from working, and practicing more Korean grammar. It’s all going well, and everything seems to be progressing smoothly. Spending time with friends in Killeen is very valuable, but I choose not to abuse it. I have a very close friend that will be deploying to Iraq for over a year. It’s very upsetting to hear and I know that now is the only time that I will be able to see him again for a while.

For now, I will continue to work as hard as I can while I’m still here in Killeen, so that I can return to College Station and finally begin on Chapter 1!

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