Being open
Oh no! An emotional blog entry. This doesn’t happen often, but it’s just one of those “depressing-but-not-really” nights.
Lately I’ve been thinking about two random things. The first is what others think of me. Now hear me out please. I know it sounds rather cliché and girly, but it’s not really like that. I’m not bothered by what people think of me, but I’m just rather curious. I could care less if people think bad of me, but I just want to know if it’s the truth if that’s the case. Why is it so hard for people to speak their mind? Sometimes I wish that people had a Sims-like indicator on the top of their heads that revealed if they felt comfortable around me or not, but that would be cheating I guess. I’m a nice guy and I’m willing to do anything for anyone but if you don’t tell me what I’m doing wrong, then how am I supposed to change and adjust for your sake? I’m not gonna cry in front of you and jump of a cliff if what you have to say is mean. I just wish people would be honest and open with me. I have nothing to hide and this leads me to my second thought.
I might be too honest and open with people. I’m starting to get the feeling that I tell people too much about my life, about things that they don’t need to know. The 1.5 years that I have spent here and TAMU and College Station has been a drastic change from Killeen. I honestly didn’t have too many people to talk to in Killeen. People weren’t really outgoing per say, but you just knew who you knew. When I came here, that all changed. People were extremely outgoing and in return, that affected me. I started to talk more and became more straightforward with people, but now I realize that I may have taken it too far. I’m not going to curl myself into a ball and shut myself away from the rest of the world now, but I think I should be a bit more cautious about what I say and who I say it to from now on.
In a nutshell – Today, I learned that if people don’t want to be open and straightforward with you, then it’s only fair to respect their actions and BS them back.